About Hooli:

At Hooli, we don't just disrupt - we obliterate. Our mission is to make the world a better place through overengineered solutions to problems no one asked to solve. With divisions ranging from social platforms for pets to quantum-adjacent blockchain neural interfaces, we're always pushing the envelope - even if no one's quite sure which envelope.

Role Overview:

As a Quantum Synergy Strategist, you'll sit at the intersection of innovation, imagination, and a lot of whiteboards. Your job? Forge alliances between teams that don't know they're working on the same thing and translate buzzwords into actual deliverables - or at least into impressive decks.

Responsibilities:

• Develop and maintain synergy matrices across at least four dimensions.
• Host "ideation calibration" workshops with stakeholders from completely unrelated departments.
• Evangelize cross-team, cross-platform, cross-reality alignment.
• Deploy AI-generated metaphors to explain complex ideas to VPs.
• Lead "Strategic Mind Melds" every full moon.

Qualifications:

• 7+ years of experience in strategic non-strategy.
• Proven track record of making up job titles that sound important.
• Familiarity with agile, waterfall, and hydroelectric workflows.
• Can hold a TED-style talk about "synergy" without blinking.
• MBA or PhD in Theoretical Collaboration preferred.

Perks:

• On-campus cryotherapy spa
• Free drone-delivered lunches
• Mandatory meditation pods
• Access to Hooli's internal social platform: Hooligram (beta)
• Let me know if you want a serious-sounding version or one in a specific department like engineering or marketing.